So, I met someone new...

You didn’t think Jenny’s Career Break(through) would come with relationship advice did you? Surprise.

My name is Mandy, and like Jenny, I decided to take a step back from my career and explore what life has to offer outside of my day job. I’ve since taken an acting class, learned about radio and podcasting at TAFE, danced a lot, dabbled in voiceovers, interned with Sydney Writers’ Festival, travelled, and am now producing a little podcast of my own.

When Jenny asked me to share what the most rewarding part of my career break has been so far, I knew immediately what I wanted to write about.

So don’t leave yet – this relationship advice might just help you find a new perspective, a new community, and maybe even a new career.

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If you’re anything like the average adult, life is busy.

We go to work, hit the gym, check emails, sit in meetings, catch up with the usual troublemakers on the weekend (except you guys don’t trouble-make nowadays), try to get enough sleep and start the cycle all over again. And if you’re one of those people who have enough energy left to consistently commit to a hobby or project outside of work, I applaud you, I respect you and I want to be you.

With so much going on, it’s no wonder that we choose to spend our precious time maintaining existing friendships and building professional networks in relevant industries. After all, the value is clear – they’re either treasured family and friends, or people who will enrich our career development journey.

But what about the people you don’t come across in your day to day?

If taking a career break has taught me anything, it’s that venturing outside our usual social and professional circles is not only transformative, but also comes with practical benefits.

Exploring beyond your circle

1. You’ll realise you’re not the main character

In the acting class I took, we did an exercise that involved being interviewed on camera. It started with a self-introduction, followed by questions from the class – anything from what you had for breakfast to your deepest fears and whether you believed in higher powers. Every student was interviewed, and we were encouraged to ask intense questions.

I was easily the most boring person there.

We met Jane* the freelance writer, who lived in Manila with her 29 rescue cats, ducks, and chickens. She was almost arrested for refusing to give up her rescue animals.

We met Nick* the nightclub event organiser who started a construction company after lockdowns froze the events industry. He was confident and full of energy… until he sat in the hot seat. He didn’t come back to class the next day.

We met Martin* the engineer, who had a profound ayahuasca experience that released him from years of deep trauma. He sat sobbing in the middle of the classroom as he recounted his childhood, and it was the first time I’d seen such raw emotion displayed without restraint in a room full of strangers.

Mind you, I’m not saying we should become any of these people or aspire to be interesting for the sake of a good story. Boring or not, I like who I am, and I hope you feel the same.   

What I am saying, is that there is no one way to live life. They might seem like distant stories to you, but these are real people I’ve met. I’m in a WhatsApp group with them – they’re real.

You know the feeling of vastness and awe that emerges when looking at photos of outer space? Meeting people who wind up in the same acting class as you despite making immensely different life choices is a bit like that – it’s an enchanting feeling of serendipity with a side of cosmic insignificance.

I might be the main character in my movie, but there are 8 billion other movies of various genres being played at the same time – so don’t take yourself too seriously.

2. You’ll remember that life can really suck

Although every person was incredible in their own way, the story that impacted me the most was Adam’s*. After the birth of his child, his wife was diagnosed with postpartum psychosis. Postpartum psychosis is a serious medical emergency with symptoms ranging from hallucinations and delusions to manic episodes and depression. Adam’s partner lost her job as a result, and he became the sole source of income for the young family.

Not long after, Adam found out he had a brain tumour and needed brain surgery himself.

If you’re fortunate enough to not have experienced these challenges, it’s easy to think that these things won’t happen to people around us. But as Adam sat there telling his story, I was reminded once again, that anything can happen to anyone.

The objective isn’t to meet new people so you can feel better about yourself – I didn’t seek out these challenging life stories. But as you encounter new people, new life stories will appear; some fascinating and exciting, others sombre. And it is precisely the fact that they exist outside of whether you’re looking for them, that makes you remember they’re real.

Ultimately, there’s one key thing I’m trying to communicate, and it’s something you already know.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed – so check in with yourself every now and then, and remember what’s important to you.

3. You’ll redefine success and open new doors

I met a guy at TAFE who told me that his life goal was to go to jail – he did it. In fact, he was such an overachiever that although he only wanted to check it out for a year, he ended up with a 4-year sentence. He was at TAFE on parole, and the day I met him, was the day he had sushi for the first time in 3 years.

You might think he was joking about his goal, but standing there watching his facial expressions, I’m not sure how much of it was a joke.

Nonetheless, it really took me by surprise – I’d never met anyone with this worldview. And judging by the reactions from my friends when I told them about my interaction, they hadn’t either.

While I’m not sure I relate to his goal, I respect that he talked the talk and walked the walk. It was an amusing reminder that success looks different for everyone.

This was really cemented when I rocked up to an event where musicians jump in and jam with the band. I loved the energy so much that I wanted to see how I could get involved.

I walked up to the organiser and asked for her email. I learned that she left high school in Year 10 not knowing what she wanted to do, eventually enrolling in a Diploma of Music Business at TAFE. She now looks after A&R (Artists and Repertoire) at an independent record label and is absolutely thriving despite not following a conventional academic path.  

We kept in touch, and she told me about a role that would suit my skill set. Although we didn’t pursue it further, I wouldn’t have gained any exposure to the music business industry had I not stepped outside my usual circle. It’s too soon to tell whether that’s a path I want to pursue, but I’m grateful that I know enough to know where to start.

Tips for your own adventure

If you’re even a little convinced that there’s value to exploring outside your circle, here are a few ways you can do the same, from low to high commitment.

And you don’t have to take a career break.

1. Try something different

Social choir, freediving, language exchange, acro yoga, book club, knitting workshop, improv class, makerspace event, writers’ group, volunteering, you name it! Have a topic you’re curious about? See if there are meet-ups or panels about it.

If you’re not ready to commit on a regular basis, this can be as low commitment as a one-off experiment to start with. Keep in mind that recurring touch points help create stronger connections but see how you feel. It won’t always be a good match from the get-go, so if the vibes aren’t right, try something else!

Tip: Look for environments that encourage communication and sharing. Dance classes are fun but when everyone is focusing on how to move, it’s not the easiest place to get to know people. Intimate events can also be more welcoming and personal. If you need ideas, follow interesting people on social media and see what kind of events and activities they frequent.

2. Ask for a chat

Maybe you met someone with an intriguing background recently? Or a person who inspires you in a field outside your own? Reach out! Send a cold email or ask in person if they’d be down to have a chat.

It helps to explain your why, express interest in their journey, and what you’re hoping to achieve in speaking with them. If there’s something you can help them with, even better – don’t discount what you can bring to the conversation!

While there’s no guarantee that they’ll accept, it’s guaranteed that you’ll learn nothing by not reaching out. I’ve been ignored more times than I’ve been replied to but it’s worth it for the meaningful connections I’ve made and the doors that have been opened to me.

Tip: Interacting in person first is always more effective than cold outreach so see if you can cross paths with them before asking for their time.  

3. Sign up for a new course

If you’re prepared to dedicate more than a couple of hours, but don’t want to commit over an extended period, short courses or retreats are an effective option. Spending a few days in a row with a group of people can really accelerate relationships. For example, NIDA has 2-day weekend classes in screenwriting, acting, etc., and there are all sorts of creative multi-day retreats out there.  

If you’re happy to dive a little deeper, there’s no shortage of courses that span across weeks and months too.

Tip: There is a range of free TAFE courses available this year for subjects like fashion, music, aviation, cooking, barbering, and floristry. You can do this full-time, or part-time outside of work hours. Enrolment is open now by the way!

4. Volunteer your time and expertise

This one is more intensive but it’s worth exploring if you’re particularly curious about a topic. Start by connecting with people you want to volunteer for and see if there are skills or resources you can offer.

If you get rejected, know that it’s not unusual. Just because you’re offering your time, doesn’t mean someone has to take it. But find the right match, and it will satisfy your thirst for knowledge, a new community, or even a new career path.

It’s been the most delightful surprise to have met so many memorable people on my journey. If I’ve tempted you even a little, I hope you consider venturing outside of your social and professional circles when you’re ready too.

Take your time – the world isn’t going anywhere.

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Thank you for reflecting with me! These encounters have shaped me in ways I didn’t expect – so much so that I want to share more stories with you, told by the wonderful people themselves, on my upcoming podcast.

If you’d like to know when it’s published, subscribe to my Substack. It’s empty for now, but I’m excited for what’s to come. Wishing everyone magical encounters!

* not real names