Fostering a solid support network
Creating a village of supporters to bring along during big life changes
Hi everyone! I’m Linda, a friend of Jenny’s and a big fan of her blog, so I’m honoured to be making a cheeky guest appearance on here. We met at university more than seven years ago, and as chance would have it, we’re both on sabbaticals at the same time!
A bit about me - I studied Commerce and Computer Science at UNSW, started a consulting gig in Sydney, did it for two years, have been on sabbatical the last six months, and am now solo travelling Europe before starting a new career chapter in August.
The importance of having a support network
The topic of this post - “Creating a solid support network” - is something that’s very close to my heart. Being able to ask for support is a muscle I’ve learnt over time, whether it be from loved ones, colleagues or health professionals.
Whilst my reflections will be seen through the lens of someone on sabbatical, I hope they give some food for thought no matter what you’re currently experiencing in life. I believe we all have something to gain from creating a village of supporters around us, and that this network requires intentional focus to remain strong over time.
Areas of support I’ve been intentional in fostering
The past six months of my sabbatical have been a rollercoaster of emotions, career changes and my first extended solo travel. Bringing a group of caring people along the journey has helped me navigate emotionally low periods, celebrate my wins (big and small) and make some major decisions. In short, it’s meant that I haven’t felt alone in this journey and has shown me there’s a lot more people than I thought who are happy to lend a helping hand.
There are three support areas that I’ve been more intentional in strengthening throughout my sabbatical:
Friends outside my work bubble: People who couldn’t give a toss about what my resume looked like and grounded me in what my identity was outside of formal structures (e.g., workplaces, universities)
A job search cheerleader crew: Friends and mentors who I took along with me on the job search journey (e.g., interviews, rejections, successes)
Those on a similar journey: Spending time and reflecting with people who are going through a similar experience (like Jenny!)
Engaging with friends outside the work bubble
During my sabbatical, I’ve been able to spend a lot more time being “Linda”, vs being “Linda the consultant that works at X company”.
Spending time with friends outside of work has been great for:
Reflecting about what I want from “life” rather than just “work”
Giving me fresh perspectives for my decision making (e.g., my resignation, my travel plans, the length of my sabbatical) as they had career paths/life priorities different to mine
Snapping me out of negative thought spirals regarding work-related things like comparing myself to others in similar roles
Lifting my confidence after two years of being in a highly performance-driven work environment, as they were friends that appreciated me for being me, vs what value I provided a company or client
Gathering a job-search cheerleader crew
I came into my sabbatical knowing that job search was going to be a big part of it. In the beginning, the mere thought of applying and interviewing for jobs made me quite anxious. Thanks to the help of some amazing people, the process of finding and eventually securing a new role that excited me was a lot more enjoyable than doing it solo. These included:
Mentors: These were wonderful individuals who I was lucky enough to meet at my previous workplace who had offered to continue supporting my in my career after I’d resigned. Every time I applied somewhere or did an interview, I would update them. They’re people who I intend on taking with me on my career journey for years to come, and hopefully pay forward the same kindness they’ve given me.
Emotional and moral support: I had a handful of close friends who I kept updated throughout the entire process of my job search. I would send them messages like “OMG I have my interview today” and they would hype me up like guardian angel cheerleaders. After my interviews when I felt mentally drained, I’d hang out with them to take the edge off.
Interview practice: I was nervous about interviews as it had been a few years since my last one. I had some wonderful friends who took time out after work and on the weekend to practice mock interviews with me. My short advice is to always ask - most of the time people will say yes. The worst that could happen is that they’ll say that they are too busy.
Connecting with people on a similar journey (once you’re ready to)
For the first month of my sabbatical, I deliberately chose not to reach out to others on career breaks, because I wanted to ground myself first and avoid comparing myself with what others were doing. It was very easy to fall into the “should I be doing what they’re doing” thinking.
“Sabbatical” is a very broad term - there’s no one way to do it. Some of the main differences I’ve seen are:
Intentionality: Some had always known they wanted to take a sabbatical whilst for some it was a spontaneous decision.
Length: Some had a set time for sabbatical (e.g., twelve months) whilst some had no strict timeline.
Job situation: Some had jobs to return back to (i.e. their company had given them a ‘sabbatical’) whilst others were planning on looking for work during the sabbatical itself.
Once I was ready, I put myself out there pretty publicly on LinkedIn and other socials that I’d resigned and was taking a break. This definitely isn’t for everyone, but for me I found it was the best way to get the word out that I was “fun-employed” and ready to start having open conversations. It was eye-opening (and very refreshing) to be able to connect with people who were candid about their own experiences navigating things like burnout, work-life-balance and career changes.
Some final reflections
You don’t owe anyone an explanation. This was the best piece of advice I got when I decided to resign. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, a story or a justification for why you’re taking time off. If you makes you feel more at peace keeping it to your close circle, do that.
Relationship dynamics will change, and that’s okay. I grew closer to some people, and further from others, merely by virtue of the fact that I was spending my time in a very different way than I was before. The people who care about you will stay and make the effort to keep in touch.
Don’t be afraid to ask for the specific type of support you need. With those closest to me, I was explicit when I needed them to be my “cheerleaders” and when I needed “real talk”. Many friends found this helpful, too, as it made it a lot easier to know how to support me in the best way.
Thanks Jenny for giving me the chance to share these thoughts on your kick-ass blog! If you’d like to read other things I’ve written, you can find them at lindawrites.substack.com.
If you have any reflections or questions, feel free to comment below or reach out to me on Linkedin 💜
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